Every day I awake to a million voices whispering in my head. One voice rings out clearer than the rest. When I listen to this voice intently, it drowns out the cries of the others. Some days this voice rings clear and true, some days it just disappears so effortlessly. It goes missing when I turn to look for it. Why does it abandon me when I need it? Why does this North Star of voices come with such a cost?
The other voices sometimes sing in unison, like angels in the sky. Those same voices sometimes shriek like those demons from the underworld. Those are the million voices in my head. Every day they greet as I start my day, every day they kiss me goodnight as I fall asleep. Then even in my sleep they infest my sweetest dreams and cloud my worst of nightmares. They never leave me. Most times they suffocate me.
What do I do with these voices? Do I listen to one? Do I listen to them all? Do I ignore them? Should I feed them? Should I help them? This kind of torment should be some kind of punishment, and not taken daily like some kind of supplement. I look as calm as an unrippled lake, but I feel as if I’m in the midst of an earthquake. I am looking for a secret window to escape, point it out to me for your own sake. The longer you make me wait, the sooner you will meet your fate.
See now, blame it on those voices. Their making me loose my precious mind. My precious mind… Wait… Could it be? Could it really be?? That it’s not these voices… That their just plain old noises? Noises that drown out the truth; noises in this soundproof booth. The booth is my mind, and my mind is not kind, why could I not read the signs, was it because I forgot to read between the lines?
At last I knew it was too good to be true, my mind was always hiding the clues, I was blinded by the conventional rules, I never understood my voices cues. Alas wretched mind, it was you all along, playing me like a song, over and over again for too long, enjoying watching me being so lost and forlorn. But I understand now, I will no longer bow, this will be the last time you see me scowl, you’ve played your last foul. Goodnight cruel mind, you were definitely one of a kind. I know now to listen to my voices, I know now they were never mere noises.
As I reach for my gun, don’t you dare run, it’s no use to look for the sun, you’re done. Say your goodbyes... Stop your sighs, don’t waste your cries and bury those lies. As I pull the trigger, I wonder about the moments we’ve shared together, I always thought you made me better, now I know that you were just another hater. Die now and let me be, go to the depths of the sea, don’t ever come back to me, go now for I have set you free.
Release me. We are free.
Artwork : lost_in_the_unknown_voices_by_agnes_cecile
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