Phantom

phan·tom also fan·tom .

1. a. Something apparently seen, heard, or sensed, but having no physical reality; a ghost or an apparition.
b. Something elusive or delusive.
2. An image that appears only in the mind; an illusion.


In that accident,
where we got hurt,
and i was amputated,
they took you away from me,
but i still need you...
i still want you...
and i still feel you...

In the dark corners of my mind;
you appear bringing light,
and i follow your trail,
lost deep in the midst,
for i still need you...
i still want you...
and i still feel you...

I know you're not there,
but you always just reappear,
and i drown all over again,
which is all i really want,
because i still need you...
i still want you...
and i still feel you...


...right here.

Coldplay - The Scientist

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are.
I had to find you, tell you I need you,
Tell you I set you apart.

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions,
Oh lets go back to the start.
Running in circles, Comin' in tails
Heads on a science apart.

Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.

Oh take me back to the start.

I was just guessin' at numbers and figures,
Pulling the puzzles apart.
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart.

And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start.
Runnin' in circles, Chasin' tails
Comin' back as we are

Nobody said it was easy,
Oh it's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be so hard.

I'm goin' back to the start.

Ohhhh oooooo
Ahhhh oooooo
Ohhhh oooooo

Ohhhh oooooo

the vid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNwQeedQfZE&feature=related

Let Love Be

I always told people; those who'd listen, that two things people never stopped fussing over were still the two biggest mysteries in the world; god and love. They maybe one thing to those who believe god is love and love is god. But for I, to pen my thoughts in the simplest of ways, they are exclusive even though dependent. Billions of people express it, try to understand it, teach it and live it yet it still can’t be understood by those who have experienced even parts of it. Those who claim they have never known love, live either under a coconut or in denial. Failing to accept that you can love or are being loved or should love at all is foolish. Just as foolish as love itself. 

It’s a beautiful thing because it is imperfect. We lesser mortals love love itself. Because it is imperfect, just like ourselves. If it was perfect, it would be robotic, monotonous, boring, or plain divine. But because love shares borders with catastrophe, fantasy and reality it is addictive. It is most certainly not a drug, it is more like fuel. Less like air, more like fuel. You can live without love, you can’t live without air. But with love, you feel like living forever. Before you couldn’t wait to die, as earth was part of hell anyway. But lunatic love so sweet and so harsh makes life worth living. It’s passionate and raw, pain and pleasure, furious and calm. Two faces of the same coin. Love drives the sane mad and the mad sane. Few embrace it for few can take such change. Love is deep not ever shallow. Shallow are those who deem love beneath them. Shallow are those who turn the other way. Love is omnipresent (much like god) for a reason, it is in you and it is you. It is me. It is she. It is he. Let love be. 

Slow Death

pain pain pain
it hurts so bad
i feel like vomiting all the time
and my head spins and spins and slams
my chest aches and stings
my legs can't carry me
my hand trembles
and my voice shakes
i truly cannot breathe
i choke on air
it hurts so bad
pain pain pain

it hurts deep....so deep..
it hurts inside and out
your words are like bullet wounds
i am taken down each time
but at least i see you and it's me you shoot
it's me you gaze upon and it's me that you are angry at
it hurts deep....so deep..

you are dying and so am i
i know that for a fact
i can give up on me but i can't give up on you
you are more important to me
don't ask why for its meant to be
i loved you every second
and i will love you every second more
my shallow words don't mean anything
they are like pebbles thrown at a mountain
but i wont stop for...
you are dying and so am i

this is not therapy
this is a plea
please please please
don't let go of me
i can never hate you
i am only begging you
stab me and stab me
i hurt i bleed i scar
take me take me take me
this is not therapy

Shadows of a Statue

she stands before the crowd
elegantly poised even in her bare
the people admire
awestruck
she is perfection in the least
they whisper, they talk, then shout her name

her creator has done his part
the rest he leaves to her
she in unveiled, there she stands
and will always stand

her cold heart beats in its stone cell
even her icy stare staggers the strong
taller than most, meeker than some
bewildered even she

I Am Me

the music notes inside me
play like an orchestra
it can only be
my soul's mantra

i am an interesting machine
as i have no power source
am as soft as a cushion
yet hard and coarse

silvery webs of thought
shimmer across the plains of this field
i fear only those i create here
paint pictures that are gray but clear
sway with the wind and sit by the pond
for where i stray i bring many along

dancing through the storm
in my dainty ballet shoes
i fly to your castle in my sun dress
slight smirks leave trails behind
blossoms bloom all around

Your Beautiful Light

you shine to me
you make me shine
don’t you see
you're one of a kind

this is what you are inside
an explosion of unexplainable splendour
in you and only you i confide
now i feel i've been pushed further..
and further..

don’t do it
i don’t want to
loose you bit by bit
i wont know what to do

i will still be what i am
a blade of grass in the meadow
but how do i glow without my light
that makes me grow

i drowned in the well of mine
i am now bare
your light it shines
it gives me air

bring me back to life
reborn; i will shine again
brighter than before the dive
before all the pain

so show me your light
let me run to you
you know i will fight
for you and only you

for your beautiful light…

Cracked Mirror

into the looking glass i peer
not to see a maiden so dear
but instead to spit on my reflection
disgusted by my imperfection

i changed my face today
to hopefully wash my sorrows away
but instead i saw the same person
only tainted and broken

my hands are bloody, my eyes soar
the nihilist laughs at my fall
the optimist now a cripple
shudders when she looks at her devil

once we laughed and sang
how i wish we were back to how it began
i was once 'the hope' and 'the light'
how i regret taking that awful bite

into the looking glass i peer
not to see a maiden so dear
but instead to spit on my reflection
disgusted by my imperfection

On The Ledge

i stand at the tip i heard only as myth
familiar but distant as though never ever
i reek of fear and grief as i stand at this tip

my being aches so
its been torn by my own hands
i am helpless in this state
i knew not how to give up
now i know not that what is fight

the tip is inviting
the fall even more
no need of flight just the fall
i deserve not to breathe this air
i deserve not to think of him

i poisoned the thing most pure
and i hurt the being most sweet
all for my lost aimless self

i blame only i today
yet i wish to be rid of the pain
i tremble when i speak
i am weak

i remember how to smile, but it is a gift to great
the fall is easier
i wish to be buried in a hole and die today

i will only stand; at the tip,
for the rope i was bore with holds me back
my parents bled for me to live
i cannot be selfish again

i will crawl and live for them to pay what i owe
but i will die inside
for i extinguished my one true flame