My Muse(s)

His eyes brush over me like a light breeze... As he gently unfolds my thoughts and reads them out loud, I smile calmly all the more ready to be unraveled… As he opens Pandora’s box, and lets mysteries of the deep gush out, I manage to catch a few of my own treasures… While he bathes himself with my mind’s juices and my heart’s beating force… I swallow back the few spiders that have escaped from my cave and devour them in the pit of my stomach… As I digest them limb for limb, they cause any eruption of mixed emotions and indeed I vomit them out again but in new forms… They now take a life of their own, needless of my body for a home… They grow through input from others and form a structure of their own design and meanings, yet they belong to me… They have the essence of me…

We gave birth to my creativity.

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Flying Kites

Beauty touches my eyes with every glance,
Willingly I live by leaving everything to chance,
They assume my pawns have a weak stance,
But they are unaware that that's just how i dance.
Everyday I watch those ponies prance,
Across meadows and jumping that fence,
Their free and seem to make more sense,
While I'm here merely staring through a lense.

My heart strums its own strings and chords,
Trying to open all those locked doors,
Everyday searching for light through nailed boards,
It is not a hobby nor is it because I am bored.
I live in a world with castles and forts,
Battles and wars won by godly lords,
A petite elf watching mortals slaying boars,
What will she say when she returns to the courts?

Daily i laugh and smile at this game of dice,
Thinking; why do we all gamble away our main prize?
Thinking; how long till we face our own lies?
It wont be too soon till we hear tortured cries.
I'm impatiently waiting for the days of our lives,
When you and i can stop chasing petty mice,
And instead we could just lie on the grass...
and stare at flying kites.

My Remains

My Dear,

I am writing to you from one of my out-of-body experiences. These eyes of mine are anything but new, so then why does it feel as if they have been granted new sight? I see the world speeding on its axel as usual, ceasing to stop for no one. Leaves are blown, blades of grass swept away , and the old pair of shoes by the door reek no more. Where have the years gone by? Perhaps, their hiding behind that cupboard door?

The tree tops have specks of gold thanks to the evening sun, the birds in the horizon return to their branches for the night. When will I go home? I think of you constantly. Meaningful thoughts and important breaths are buried by your prevailing image. Where have the years gone? Perhaps, their hiding behind the waterfall I sit beneath in? Even those icy blades piercing through me, go unfelt when I say your name under my breath. I have no way to escape.

As you can see, I write for days and days, page by page, only of thee. I start out writing about colossal things, but right away using my sword, I pour out my heart. Like the purest of liquids, it flows, feelings, thoughts and images of only you. How can this be?

I feel useless when am away from you. I know it should not be, that’s what I repeat to myself. I beg of you, share your well kept secret of how you breathe like love never came to be? The last strand of hair has fallen from my head. I seek sanity from the being that drives me crazy. Kill me.

Your insane lover.

Evey said "God is in the rain"

"Conceal me what I am, and be my aid
For such disguise as haply shall become
The form of my intent."
- Viola; "Twelfth Night", Act I, Scene II, lines 53-55

Love's Deceit by Big Rube

Pleasure turns to the pain
Of the lessons learned from strain
Of the questions burned in my brain
About whether love is humane in its touch
These thoughts are like salmon swimming
Upstream in the tears of your deceit
Fighting the current hurt that kills
more than is created by the chaos of our intertwined emotions
Chaotic because the anchor of Eros' arrow has been plucked
From the vessel of my undying infatuation
Separation not as simple as the distance between us
My mind no longer possessed by the demons that had been
The overseers of my enslavement to your lies
The seeds of these lies rooted so deeply they've
cracked the foundation of what we once shared
Allowing the faith in us i had sealed inside to gush out
Like a river ripping the image of our future together
From my thoughts as violently and as brutally as if
It were a child being taken from his its mother's arms
I'm left surrounded in darkness but i refuse to be swallowed by it.
My loneliness like the night air
Invisible to the eye
Obvious to the touch
In its cold uncomfortableness
Yet if I could do it all over again
I'd do it in the same skin I'm in
To lay down and let love die
Just stay down and let love lie
No no not I
I'll stay around and let love fly
Even though I've seen its darkest form; Deceit
Nothin else could taste this warm or feel this sweet.

Love Rain by Jill Scott & Mos Def

Love rain down on me,on me,down on me(4x)

Met him on a Thursday,sunny afternoon
Cumulus clouds, 84 degrees
He was brown,deep
Said he wanted to talk about my mission
Listen to my past lives (Word?)
Took me on long walks to places where butterflies rest easy
Talked about Moses and Mumia
Reparations,blue colors,memories of shell top adidas
He was fresh,like summer peaches
Sweet on my mind like block parties and penny candy
Us was nice and warm,no jacket,no umbrella,just warm
At night we would watch the stars
And he would physically give me each and every one
I felt like cayenne pepper,red,hot,spicy
I felt Dizzy and Sonia, heaven and Miles between my thighs
Better than love,we made delicious
He me had,had me he
He had me tongue tied
I could hear his rhythm in my thoughts
I was his sharp, his horn section
His boom and his bip
And he was my love

Love rain down on me,on me,down on me

The rain was fallin and,and slowly and sweetly and stinging my eyes
And I could not see that he became my voodoo priest
And I was his faithful concubine
Wide open,wide,loose like bowels after collard greens
The mistake was made
Love slipped from my lips
Dripped down my chin and landed in his lap
And us became new
Now me non-clairvoyant and in love
Made the coochie easy and the obvious invisible
The rain was falling
And I couldn't see the season changing
And the vibe slipping off its axis
Our beautiful melody became wildly staccato
The rain was falling and I could not see
That I was to be plowed and sowed and fertilized
And left to drown in his sunny afternoon
Cumulus clouds,84 degrees,melody

Love rain down on me,on me,down on me (2x)

(Mos Def:)

I stretch my arms towards the sky like blades of tall grass,
The sun beat between my shoulders like carnaval drums.
I sat still in hopes that it would help my wings grow
So then I could really be fly.
And then she arrived.
Like daybreak inside a railway tunnel,
like the new moon,
like a diamond in the mines,
like high noon to a drunkard,
Sudden...
She made my heart beat in the now, now time signature,
her skin a canvas for ultra violet brush strokes.
She was the sun's painting,
she was a deep cogniac color,
her eyes sparkled like lights along the new city,
her lips pursed as if her breath was too sweet and full for her mouth to hold.
I said:
"You are the beautiful distress of mathmatics,"
I said:
"For you, I will peel open the clouds like new fruit,
and give you lightning and thunder as a dowry,
I will make the sky shed all of it's stars like rain,
and I would clasp the constellations across your waist,
and i will make the heavens your keep.
And they will be pleased to cover you,
they will be pleased to cover you,
May i please... cover you...

...please...

Swirls and Twirls

My magic wand makes everything still,
cause the world is my very own bubble,
in it i can only swirl and twirl,
and watch everyone else slowly curl.
Floating around my playground,
i barely hear any other sound,
other than God's pound after pound,
where he fights round after round.

Watching and listening, that's all i do,
even if didn't, what is it to you?
let me be strong and mighty too,
or delicate and eccentric like my tattoo.
As i look down at you from here,
you should look up at me with fear,
i make dust out of things that are dear,
you'll only see when i'm no longer here.

Think magic and miracles are fairy tales?
filling your head, those once empty pails,
my ship is coming, i see its white sails,
no longer need i stay a fish without scales.
I leave my dress and wand on earth,
i take a last long look at my favourite bird,
i smell the air, trees and dirt,
and i peacefully leave my place of birth.

Square One

You run into a concrete wall,
trapped in a complicated maze,
given up on dribbling that ball,
just been suffocating in this phase.
The pawn in a strategic chess game,
negotiating for that vital promotion,
ready to sacrifice name and fame,
for treasures hidden under the ocean.
Been working and sweating profusely,
chasing dreams to vague to hold,
people you know laughing amusingly,
soon they'll be the first to fold.

Impatience fuels your perseverance,
you're fighting against the odds,
like Hercules going the distance,
working and connecting those dots.
As you solemly sit and reminisce,
having painful nostalgic pangs,
realizing they've become bags of sense,
filing your once empty, now useful cans.
Soon enough you brush your shoulders,
stand up and stretch your face,
to start moving those boulders,
not to finish, but to win that race.

Running up hills and across deserts,
meeting obstacles becomes a daily affair,
nodding and shaking hands with lizards,
carrying out life's outrageous dare.
Tired of being walked all over on,
pushing your way through the crowds,
feeling like you're all new and reborn,
trying to shut out shouts and doubts.
But you know the Devil's right on your back,
doesn't matter how hard or far you run,
and you hate staring at the fact;
that you're going to stumble back to square one.